She’d taken several pain killers to prevent her from feeling any pain. Besides, she needed a backup plan in case the other thing didn’t work out.
She located the vein, turned her head and quickly slid the razor across her flesh. She winced at the sharp sting. The warm ooze drizzled down her hand and left its trail on the hard wood floor. She climbed into bed and hoped for death to quietly greet her while she slept.
That was a dark day in my teen life, one I’ll probably never forget. The pain and hurt I endured left me beyond hopeless; I’d reached the point of no return.
According to the dictionary, the point of no return is defined as the point in a course of action beyond which reversal is not possible. Have you even been at a point in your life, the point of no return? Have you even been broken by life’s circumstances and craved death? Have you even made plans for your life only to watch them come undone? If so, you’re not alone.
Although I had made plans to die that day it was not God’s purpose for me and God always triumphs…always. His word says it in Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
The plans we make in life are subject to change especially if it’s not what God has intended for us. Our plans is not limited to bad, it includes the good plans we have for our lives as well. We may plan to attend college majoring in a prominent field of study, with a promising career after we graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after. However, if that’s not God’s purpose for your life, although it’s a great plan, His purpose will prevail. Jeremiah 29:11 clearly states that God knows the plans He has for us (not the plans we have for ourselves), and His plans are to prosper us, not to harm us, to give us hope and a future.
In those dark moments in life, there are times all we have to hold on to and hope for is the truth of God’s word. It is this truth that will enable us to hang in there one more day, and then another day, and another until His word shines so bright that it becomes the only life giving light we see in a world of darkness.
“God is in control” is totes cliché I know but be that as it may, it’s true. In the midst of chaos, depression, hurt, pain, anger, mistakes, and even suicidal attempts…God is in control. I can honestly admit to you that in spite of every plan I’ve ever made in life, God’s purpose for me has always been what’s best for me. Yes it was hard, no I didn’t always understand, and sometimes I down right hated what He was doing, but looking back I know that He always had my best interest at heart and I’m forever grateful.