Loving Your Single Friends This Season

singleThe holiday season can prove especially hard on singles. Whether feeling lonely or unsure of how to fit in among dating/married friends, it can be a difficult time.

So let’s shed some light on this complex subject–

I imagine that my answer is probably similar to that of other singles: it’s sometimes hard to know exactly where/how to fit and not be in the way. My three closest friends all got married within the last 2 1/2 years, so I also didn’t want to seem like I was butting in or stealing their time when they were engaged and newly married. 

Personally, too, I think part of my struggle is that I haven’t had many healthy and godly husband/wife relationships around me as I’ve grown up, so I think I didn’t know exactly what to expect from them as a couple: how they will relate to/talk to me when they are together, what to say to their husbands (since I know these girls really well but have only met their husbands fairly recently), things like that. “

Hardest thing is seeing them (married couples) so happy. I have always wanted to be a wife and mom, and there are some days when I am so thankful that God has given many of my friends that life. I went to high school and college with girls who said, ‘I don’t want to be married right after college. I want a career. I definitely don’t want children in the first 5 years of marriage.’ Those are the girls who married before college was even finished, and had their first kid within a year of marriage. It is hard for me to see others given what I have been praying for when they don’t seem to appreciate it. I love spending time with my married friends, but there are times when I know I just can’t.”

Sometimes, I find myself wishing I had someone like they do. I envy that super close friendship that exists, and just having someone that loves YOU. But, I’m finding that it’s not about finding a friend, as much as being one. It’s also hard to be single when there are couples around; you sometimes feel “left out.” I sometimes catch myself seeing guys as “potential” rather than people. When you keep expecting Prince Charming to show up any day, you tend to think every knight that comes along is him.”

Couples, I challenge you to be aware of your single friends as you go about your holiday season! Get to know them so well that you understand how they feel about singleness without having to ask. Know them on a level that allows you both to bridge that life gap that sometimes stands in the way. Include them in your festivities, make them feel loved, post about your friendship, schedule a coffee date, go ahead and care about them in practical ways.

And for those of you who are single, talk to your dating and married friends! Get in their way. Be with them. Open yourself up and don’t view your singleness as a handicap. We need you to speak up when you are hurting so we can help and love on you this season. We need to understand you, but we can’t if you hole up inside.

The bottom line is that we all need to talk and learn how we can love each other! Let’s stop this holiday season from passing by without being aware of our friends.

It’s going to take work, but it’s going to be oh so worth it!

Sierra Straightforward

PS: To read more about the In Their Shoes series…click HERE.

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