I truly had a Leah mentality.
Leah, in the Bible, was the sister of Rachel. According to Genesis 29:17, “Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful.” There are a few interpretations as to what weak eyes were supposed to mean with regards to Leah, but nevertheless – it doesn’t appear to be a compliment when compared to Rachel’s description.
Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been compared to someone, and perhaps the comparison was not in your favor?
If so, you could probably relate to Leah.
Jacob was so in love with Rachel that he told her father, Laban, that he would work seven years for him in return for Rachel’s hand in marriage. When they passed, he consummated his relationship with Laban’s daughter – but to Jacob’s surprise, it was not Rachel! He had been deceived and had in fact, married Leah-the one with weak eyes.
Eventually, Jacob would marry Rachel but can you imagine how hard that must have been for Leah? Knowing that she was not the one Jacob really wanted, but yet she is married to this man? Could Leah ever do anything to gain his love? Well, she certainly tried.
“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now” (Genesis 29:31).
Leah kept conceiving children and interestingly enough, she had similar responses after the birth of her children:
- “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.”
- “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have born him three sons.”
- “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor because I have borne him six sons.”
How many times have you ever felt like that? Trying to justify someone’s love for you by what you give them? There you are, counting all of what you did for them, yet still not gaining their love?
Maybe you felt like Leah and you have said:
“This time they’ll love me…This time they’ll become attached to me…
This time they’ll honor me…”
In previous relationships (most of them not God-honoring), I thought that what I brought to the table would be enough to keep them loving/liking me or showing interest in me and it never was. I tried so hard to overcompensate for what I didn’t bring to the table that I offered everything (and I do mean everything) to make up for what I thought I lacked. I felt that I wasn’t valuable or interesting. People came into my life and went and I thought it was because I wasn’t good enough.
But even when others are not that into you – GOD IS. He also knows how to send those Godly, special surprises when we aren’t trying to force them.
When I was going through another this “What’s wrong with me?” phase, people that I admired soooo much and that I thought were so special in their own right, began to come to me just wanting to hang out and be around me. In fact, I at one point, I actually nicknamed one of them my “Beautiful Surprise.” On the outside when people would approach me about hanging out or needing help, I was like, “Oh, sure! Anytime!” But on the inside, I was a nervous wreck going, “Oh, God. Why me? These people are so special and wonderful. Of all people, they ask ME?! Why does this person want to be around me and what do they see?” On and on I went. Finally, the Lord, in His own special way to me said:
“They see plenty in you and I don’t make no junk.”
At the right time when we aren’t trying to be Leah’s and force our beauty/worth on someone, we can be found.
We can be found so special by the people we least expect when we least expect it.
Beloved, never doubt how much GOD IS INTO YOU. He works through people and He will send the right people at the right time.
God IS JUST THAT INTO YOU. No more being a Leah. No more, “This time he’ll love me.”
Because guess what?
HE ALREADY DOES AND ALWAYS HAS!