Katrina Hunter – Set Free (Hannah’s Corner)
During my college years, I was a very active member in the campus ministry that was connected to the church I attended at the time. As long as I live, I will never forget the students within the ministry nor one particular incident that brought about many laughs but taught me a lot about myself. The church we attended was a small church and I would guess about 75 people, maybe less, were in attendance that day.
I don’t recall if this particular day was a special service or if the campus pastor was ministering – but I do know that at one point, our campus pastor was in the pulpit speaking and then we were also acknowledged later. Sometime after that, our campus pastor began to give thanks to someone who he knew, who had done some things for him, etc. I don’t want to put words into his mouth since my memory of his exact words escapes me now, but let’s just say whoever he was thanking at the time – they had done a lot for him and the ministry.
While he was going on and on about this “wonderful person” he threw in a name. He said his last comment of thanks and somewhere in there, towards the end was the name…”Katrina….” That’s all I heard – my name and I didn’t hear anything else after that. So I began to stand up (nervously). As I am taking my stand, I notice there’s a woman in the pew in front me of who is also standing up at the same time I am. Who was she? She was his wife…who was also named Katrina! He was not talking about me at all. He was referring to her the entire time.
This is a very unfortunate…but true story.
As I stood there – embarrassed, I laughed as did everyone else in the church, including him and my fellow students. If you caught me after church to ask me, “What were you thinking? What made you think he was talking about you?” I would have probably laughed it off or just said, “I don’t know.” There was absolutely nothing inappropriate going on at all to lead me to a conclusion of sorts that he meant me – except for the issues of my own mind.
If you were to ask me today, “What was I thinking?” I could now tell you honestly: “Because I THOUGHT he was talking about me,” or even more honestly: “Because I NEEDED him to be talking about me.” At that point of my life, I needed anyone to be talking about me…telling me my value and how important I was.
Not only did I want to exalt myself, in my own time; but I also refused to cast all of my anxieties on God (1 Peter 5:5-6). On that most interesting day I could tell you, in my pride – it seemed logical that he was referring to me. According to me, I had all of these great qualities he described. My pride would have said, “Why wouldn’t he have been describing me? Who else could it have been?”
One minute I was “doing it all,” (school, work, activities) and the other minute worrying it would never make me good enough or as good as the others around me.
Beloved, can you relate?
Sometimes we want someone to recognize us so bad by our names, know our true traits inside and out – and love them all; that we will take anyone who calls us whoever, however many times. We, in desperation, will sell or throw away our identities just to be called something, or worse – we will let people mold us and our minds into what they want, because we lose the desire to think for ourselves.
The Bible speaks of not being led astray and in your hearts to set apart Christ as Lord. When we go looking for things out of a need and longing to be called and recognized – we can easily lead ourselves astray, and very quickly forget who the Lord is. We can set apart Christ as Lord – or just set Him aside and take matters into our own hurting hands.
What choice will you make?
My prayer today is that you would let God call you by your name, and when He does – you better stand up!