The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.
Psalm 31:5 (NIV)
Into your hands I commit my spirit, redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.
Last week, it finally dawned on me that I was in pain.
My left ankle/foot got my attention and it got it solely. For weeks, I had walked around on what turned out to be a very bad sprain that will now require a new boot. The pain reached such a level that tears ran and I reluctantly decided that the time had arrived to see a certified physician.
Since the initial incident which led to the sprain, I had managed to bandage up my ankle, soak it in Epsom salt, and walk around … with a limp of course. All this time, I NEVER ONCE seriously considered going to have it examined because I genuinely thought, “It will get better.”
Now, a few of my friends reading this may not find this at all surprising, considering the fact that a few years ago, while playing paint ball, I actually sprained this exact same ankle, not realizing that I had done so. Again, I knew I was in pain, but didn’t go to the doctor then either. The next day, I saw my ankle swell and decided to be Nurse Katrina. I nursed own my foot back to health. It took a while, but it eventually did get better.
But, in this case – it didn’t get better. In fact, I have made my healing process take longer than it should have and have risked doing serious damage to my left ankle/foot by continuing to hobble on it.
Now that I am writing this blog, I have publicly shared a couple of things with you.
- My strength to endure pain.
- My insanity to endure pain (and unnecessarily might I add).
I never imagined God would give me a blog from a boot, but because He is who He is — He has. God used this situation to show me that I have a tendency to either make light of my own pain (play it down, it’s not a big deal, say “I’m fine”, etc.) or just downright ignore it until I have no choice but to confront it. I can be so sympathetic towards others, but for me — there is no sympathy.
Honestly, I have just started to figure out some reasons as to why this is so.
Can any of you relate to this?
If I look over my life, and this situation says a lot by itself, I can think of other situations where I’ve had the same mentality of “Oh, it’s fine” — when it ain’t!
Maybe it’s because in order to heal from something, you have to confront it.
And some stuff, I just didn’t want to confront!
Do you ever have days where it’s just like, “I don’t want to deal with that today. So, I won’t.” Then, you move throughout your day, walk on a sprained ankle, push down your emotions, and simply decide to keep on moving.
Never confronting it.
Never admitting anything.
Never admitting the truth.
I love how the Psalmist reminds us that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and He saves us who are crushed in spirit. I can think of some situations right now that have crushed my spirit over the last few years, and months for that matter, yet I have walked around “self-medicating” with my spiritual Epsom salt, not confronting the issues, until this week.
I had to have that honest conversation with God about how I felt, what went wrong or right in each situation, where was He, why I didn’t want to do this or that, and even why I was afraid to do some things. Those things were hard to say to God, but I said them.
I am working on my healing.
What about you?
The next few days, just take a moment and reflect on some afflictions (hurts, issues, disappointments, betrayals, etc.) that you haven’t confronted. Confronting doesn’t always mean talking to someone else face to face, although that has its place and the way in which it is handled also has it place.
What I am referring to in this case is simply having the courage to admit everything is not ok when it comes to ____________ (fill in the blank), and having an honest dialogue with God.
Beloved, have the courage and strength to admit that all is not well with a certain situation or a matter of your heart.
Have the courage to take the issue to God. He’s the doctor you need.
He can heal the sick.
He can heal the brokenhearted.
Beloved, let Him heal you.